The Joy of Dog Sports

Agility Dog 7
Originally uploaded by Valusint.

Today Ethan and I went to the Oregon State Fair in Salem. Ethan has spoken about his visit last year as an unanticipated summer highlight, so I was excited to make the trek today, partially motivated by that surge of "I better have a lot of fun right NOW!" that one experiences during high summer, when you can smell the return of work and school on the wind.

I was most excited about seeing The American Kennel Club Dog Agility Competition in action. I had previously seen this amazing spectacle of athleticism only on Animal Planet my sophomor year of college, under the (superior) name Agility Dog.

Basically, a series of dogs are guided around an obstacle course by their human companions in a scored time trial. Obstacles include running through tubes, teeter-totters, steeple jumps, and pausing on a platform. This was, I imagine, invented, or at least embraced and marketed, by traditional dog show organizers who were witnessinng the success of extreme human sports and felt that extreme dog sports would be equally popular. If only they could find a way to incoporate parachutes, I think this thing would really take off.

What was most amazing about seeing this sport in real life was how unbelievably happy the dogs seemed about competing. As they slalomed (or weaved, depending on size) through a series of poles, some of the dogs yipped with joy after passing each post. It was as if they were screaming "I LOVE THIS!" I realize that human athletes enjoy their physical endeavours as well, but, as Ethan pointed out, you don't see soccer players, while running down the field after the ball, shouting about their love for the game.

It really made you feel good about being alive, seeing how good the dogs seemed to feel about it. The fact that the dogs awareness of being in a competition with other dogs - as opposed to just playing with their human and canine friends - is dubous and unknowable at best. A truly pure love of the game.

Weird how much I've ended up (kind of) talking about sports here. I would like to reference Cameron's post about humans' relative lack of physiccal prowess as a related and entertaining read.

I want to see dogs on trampolines! In parachutes! On skis! Playing jai-alai!

The Jewish Dojo Dilemma

When Ethan and I were playing tennis the other day, I started thinking about other activities I'd participated in at various times in my life. My mind focused in on Judaism and Jujitsu, for reasons having nothing to do (as far as I know) with the obvious pun.

Many dojos and martial arts studios I've been in - all I think, actually - have framed pictures of the main sensei's own sensei, the founder of the particular martial style, or some other guru.

Do orthodox Jews study martial arts? I assume they must. Krav maga?

When an observant Jew walks into a dojo with a framed guru picture towards which, according to martial tradition, he is obligated to bow, what does he do? Does this count as graven imagery? Obviously, these martial masters are not being venerated as gods per se, but I would imagine the bowing thing doesn't sit well. It freaks me out a bit actually.

I remember reading about a line of workout videos for orthodox men, but that wouldn't really bring up the same issues.

Does anyone know?

The Outsider Athlete

Today my roommate Ethan went to Fred Meyer and bought us each $20 tennis rackets. (I would like to pause here for a minute and point out that I would make Ethan's name a hyperlink, but I can't, because he doesn't have a blog. Or a computer. Or a cell phone. And my blog just now provided a new venue for me to rag on him for this). And some Penn #4 tennis balls. They're the best-selling balls in the world. Even better than Wilson. Who would have guessed.

Over the past few weeks, Ethan, Meri and I each independently, for whatever reason, got it into our heads that playing tennis would be fun, and probably a good thing to know how to do besides. Maybe this was the product of some 25-year-old-pre-30-year-old synapse firing, grooming its host into presentable middle agers prematurely. Maybe our attention was just drawn to all of the free tennis courts in Portland parks that are suddenly occupied, now that the good weather is upon us. In any case, I was very impressed that Ethan took this tennis project from idle chatter to the next, implementable level, investment and procurement of good and all.

On some level, I think I thought there was a chance that I would instantaneously turn out to be the best tennis player ever. The equivalent of an outsider artist. Someone with no real training or background who quickly and unexpecctedly moves from the fringe to the center of a highly regimented skill hierarchy. I think that I always feel a little bit of excitement about this possibility whenever I begin learning a new skill. That my prodigy potential will finally be realized. I wonder if most people feel this to some degree. I asked Ethan about it, and he said yes. But he sometimes has similar megalomaniacal pathies to me, in spite of being a really nice dude. He is also anxious about the number of things in the world. I have a similar sense of the potential for spontaneous celebrity whenever I start to learn anything new, but particularly when it comes to athletics, even though I have never shown any extraordinary gifts in that department. Except for at Ga-Ga, maybe. Nonetheless, I continue to dream.

To be fair, Ethan and I had both had tennis lessons at some point in our youth, including Ethan's attending a tennis camp (one in a series of camps he attended, and hated, including Balkan Dance Camp, wherein the next oldest "camper" was 20 years his senior). In spite of this prior training, and the obvious potential for Outsider Athlete Virtuosity (OAV) that we feel daily course through our veins, we weren't very good. But we'll keep trying.

And right as we finished, we heard the ice cream truck come by

TTSE #3: Random Delivery Service

Things That Should Exist #3:

While recuperating from the blissful madness that was this past weekend's PDXPOP Now! festival at Laurelhurst Park today with Meri many things happened. Most of them were alternately starting crossword puzzles, and becoming too tired to complete them. We ate. We napped. And at just the right time, we heard a distant tune. An analog loop, about 7 seconds long, of Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag. It was an ice cream truck. I thought that I didn't have time to run to the street via the established footpath and made the mistake of trying to blaze my own trail through the bushes. The endless trench-system of spider webs forced me to turn back and run the regular pedestrian route. I caught the little mini-truck (not a musician flexvan, I should add) just in time to procure a Creamsicle and an Ice Cream Sandwich, for me and Meri, respectively.

A powerful enthusiasm surged in me - how cool is it that a little truck comes and brings ME icecream on a hot day! I wish they would just bring me everything! Then I thought of pinkdot and the handful of other home anything-you-want delivery services. I just never think to use them. Or, not having a drug habit, maybe I just never want anything bad enough to call somebody to bring it to me at 2am.

But how about a delivery service that brought me something cool - of their choosing - once a week? What if I could specify a dollar amount and, if I wanted, a category, and somebody would drop off an item or group of items fitting my parameters every week. I get pretty excited about the regularity of taking the trash out every Sunday night as is, so you can imagine my enthusiasm for somebody finding me a cool, unique present every week. I could say "$10. Surprise me!" Or if I wanted more control, I could say "$5. Something blue." Or "$20. A kitchen item."

I like this idea very much.

TTSE #2: Musician FlexVans

Things That Should Exist #2:

For the first time this summer I had some time to just go out into the beautiful Portland summer evening sun on bike, get tired, and think about stuff. As I was on the final stretch back home, I passed by the Walgreen's parking lot at Belmont & 38th and saw a FlexCar. Not an unusual sight for Portland. But this was a minivan. For some reason, it had never occurred to me that there were FlexThingsOtherThanCars.

For the past 10 minutes or so I've been thinking about a new plan - either philanthropic, through PDXPOP maybe, or economic, through Executive. There should be a FlexVan service for bands. Owning a van large enough to put all of a band's gear in is a pain in the ass, what with parking - particularly on Portland's small streets - maintenance costs and all that. Usually bands, for economic reasons, end up having to buy 30 year-old vans guaranteed to break down on the hottest day of your tour. But musicians don't really need to own vans. they just need them to get to and from gigs, and to tour.

I think you could start a specialized business of van rental ala FlexCar, allowing people to reserve a van for a given time slot. You could do a lot with even a fleet of 3 or 4. I know that I would own a smaller car if I didn't have to move gear around relatively regularly. And this would certainly make the logistics of touring a lot simpler.

Alternatively, we could start a project through an existing non-profit like PDXPOP, through which people could donate old vans for tax deductions of greater value than the resale value of the cars. These cars could be refurbished and brought up to snuff through local mechanics who could donate their labor for tax-deduction equivalences. Or we could use existing non-profit funds to pay for this as a ccommunity service. And, again, these vans could be signed out for the timeslots that any given band or set of musicians need.

I just mentioned this idea to Greg who rightly pointed out that musicians would not necessarily be the most desirable leasers (lessees?), given the sometimes true stereotypes of irresponsibility, substance issues and all that. But isn't that what insurance is for? Prohibitively expensive? Require proof of insurance for leasing? Do criminal background checks or at least driving record or credit checks? Yeah, a little invasive maybe, but probably necessary.

I'm actually very curious about this idea. Any thoughts?